Do you equate ease with laziness?

One of my beloved coaches, Dr. Monikah Ogando, once recalled a story she heard about Jay-Z. Yes, that Jay-Z. Apparently, we almost missed a chance to watch Obama "brush that dirt off his shoulder" because Hova's mom told him the only worthy work is HARD work. For a while, he shooed away music as a career because he could write music in his sleep. And by virtue of being easy, it couldn't be worthy.

I took a moment to think about the countless times I see this show up in the lives of tired moms, burnt employees, frazzled business owners, and depleted wives. Too many of them, too many of us, fall into the trap of only finding honor in struggle.

Listen, sis... The struggle is real, but that shit IS NOT REQUIRED.

How many times have women dedicated entire cocktail hours to lamenting about the challenges of mothering and wifing (you can cancel the grammar police because that's gon' be a verb today and you're gonna get over it)... the struggle of doing... the pain of working so much... the hard work of just being. They one-up each other with war stories, giving each other reward points for who can manage the most exhaustion. Who can cry the quietest when they really want to scream for help.

And what happens when that circle takes aim at the female neighbor who seems to get things so easily? The eyes start rolling around like olives in a martini. Far too often, those conversations center around the apparent shady and undesirable qualities of the woman experiencing visible ease. "What [shady, despicable] thing did Miss. Suchy Much do to achieve that level of ease in her life?... Walking around here like the Queen of the World. She's just lazy." [Insert silent implication that she should be tired and worn to deserve respect].

As Dr. Monikah so eloquently declared, your skills and talents are supposed to make life easy! Listen, boo, if you're not experiencing ease in your life, you probably took the bait of believing your struggle is your crown - earned through your pursuit of things worthy of honor. That all sounds good until you're on your third bottle of wine, your second box of chocolate, and your first pile of mascara-stained tissues - wishing Calgon could actually take you away.

A depleted woman can never operate in full power. Did you hear me??? A DEPLETED WOMAN CAN NEVER OPERATE IN FULL POWER!

The struggle story works great for Lifetime movies, but you don't have to accept that fate. What's your next move?